Jeans...Are Sandwiches.

It is worth noting that I love shopping as much as I love jeans and sandwiches, though I understand this is a love not shared by all. I'll do my best.



Jeans are a fickle thing. Everyone has a pair, even if you don't really like them. Not owning jeans seems a sign of some type of defect. "What do you mean you don't have a pair of jeans?" They'll say. But a good pair of jeans is difficult to find. So many styles; boyfriend, skinny, super skinny, bootcut, straight-leg. So many colours; blue, light blue, black, grey, white. Acidwash, stonewash, ripped. The options are endless.



And even when you find ones that are seemingly perfect, there is no guarantee they'll fit right. Even if they fit perfectly they still might not look good. One almost questions why such a difficult piece of clothing became such a wardrobe staple. But alas it did, and we must go through the routine every couple of months as we squeeze ourselves into another pair in a seemingly endless line of jeans which are all the same, but all slightly different.

Like sandwiches.

At the end of the day, sandwiches consist of bread, filling and opional condiment. That's it. No matter how you build it, what you fill it with, whether it's toasted or not. The possibilities are endless, within a set spectrum. You might like one sandwich more than another, you might get cravings for different sandwiches, you might find a favourite or constantly be searching for the perfect sandwich.

This is how I feel about jeans. Sandwichs are just bread and stuff. Jeans are just denim on your butt. It's when you get a good one, or a good pair, a certain feeling takes over. Suddenly your problems seem smaller, the day seems brighter, because you've conquered this challenge.

Until tomorrow lunchtime, or next season.
Whatever comes first.

Boys.... are sandwiches.

I should start by saying; I'm currently a little bitter and tired. And not tired as in I need sleep, but tired as in I'm a little over boys. And so this blog will be a little bitter. But we'll do what we can.

Ever think about a great sandwich? Ever really stop and consider it? Think about all the things are you're going to put on it, imagine how it will look, how it will smell, how it will feel in your hands. Sure you have, we all have. It might not necessarily come after a sandwich drought, you may have had a pretty good sandwich yesterday. But now you are thinking about this one sandwich and how amazing it will taste.

But, alas, it doesn't happen. Maybe it's ok, maybe it's not what you wanted at all, but it in no way lives up to your expectations. Maybe you don't get the sandwich at all. The point is, you had all these high hopes for this sandwich, most of which were based in reality somewhere; a remembered smell, a fleeting glance, but they all come crashing down around you. It's not your fault, it's not the fault of the sandwich. (Though it's more likely to be the fault of the sandwich than you) For whatever reason, it just doesn't work out.

Just like boys.

You build them up in your head, to dizzying heights, and eventually it has to come tumbling down. Maybe the illusion lasts for a while. Maybe all those scenarios you saw in your head come true. But it won't last. This is because there is another way in which boys are like sandwiches...

Eventually, they'll go bad. While each individual case is different and has many factors influencing it, every sandwich and every boy will eventually become gross and unhealthy and downright bad for you.

They'll probably smell pretty awful too.

Camping Trips...are sandwiches

I must start by saying that while I have eaten many sandwiches, I have only ever been on one camping trip. With that in mind, let's continue.

Sometimes you just get the craving for a sandwich. It could be anytime, anyplace, for any sort of sandwich. All of a sudden you have an urge. Usually for something ridiculous. Like a triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney. You can't explain it, but you need it. Your life will not be the same unless you make this dream, founded on a whim, a reality.

Every now and then, we feel a need. A need to get away. A need to leave behind everything that bombards us in our everyday life. Every now and then, we feel the need to go camping. And it seems like it will answer all our problems. We think by packing up and hitting the open road, all our problems will melt away never to be seen again. The frustration and dull agnoy of everyday life will be erased, replaced with a sea of contentment.

But spontaneous camping trips, much like triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney can be tragic affairs leaving the participants feeling unsatisfied and a little bit sick.

Camping trips and sandwiches alike must be planned. Bad luck must be accounted for. Tents with holes them, bad directions and ridiculous fillings all make for bad news. But if carefully planned and properly organized, both camping trips and sandwiches can be amazing experiences.

Time of your life, stuff memories are made of experiences. Things that you'll be telling your friends about for years to come and insisting they give it go at least once.

The trick is to eat your triple fried egg sandwich before the bread dissolves and always pack a spare pair of socks.

Love...is sandwiches

First and foremost, Love is a bitch. And once you are at peace with that one truth life will become a whole lot easier.

But more than that...Love is sandwiches and here is why...

When people fall in love they generally do so with reckless abandon. They take all the hurt, all the pain from past experiences and banish it to the furthest corner of their minds so that they may be undisturbed in the pursuit of their new love. They ignore the naysayers because they know this time it will be different. This person is the one they've been waiting for, the one who will turn their life around in all the most glorious ways.

Inevitably, they are not. Maybe it lasts for a year, maybe a night, maybe not even that. But chances are it will all come crashing down. And when it does all those past experiences and all that pain you tried so hard to forget comes rushing back. And it rushes back with such a force that it crushes you entirely. You hate them. You hate yourself. And you hate everyone who is in love. You swear you will never be that sucker again.

Now consider sandwiches.

You've been thinking about this sandwich all day. You're craving it, going mad for it. You think about all the things you could do, all the ways this sandwich is going to make you happy. You think about the last sandwich you, it wasn't very good, maybe it was downright awful. But you can fix it, you won't make the same mistakes again. This will be the sandwich to end all sandwiches. It will look amazing, it will taste amazing, it will fill the hole inside you, it will be everything you need to make you happy.

And then you eat the sandwich. And maybe it was good, maybe it was everything you dreamed of, maybe it was slightly less, and maybe it was downright heartbreakingly bad. But no matter how good it was, it won't last forever and inevitably your sandwich will be gone.

But do you pine? Do you sob uncontrollably over your lost sandwich? Do you give dirty looks to all those enjoying their sandwiches?

No.

Because as much as you loved that sandwich, you knew it couldn't last. But you are grateful you had it. Even if it wasn't so good. Now you know what to do better next time. You know you're limits now. Just because your sandwich didn't last forever doesn't mean it didn't count.

Love, like a sandwich, is a fleeting thing. It probably won't last forever. But savour the mouthfuls, relish the moments, remember the way it made you feel. Because one day there will be another sandwich. And it will surpass this sandwich is ways you can't even dream of. And you will wonder why you ever wanted this sandwich to begin with.

And let's be honest. This sandwich was a bit of a douchebag anyway.